Al Turtle’s Relationship Wisdom will keep you busy for a few days… weeks… okay, months. To be clear from the onset, I do not know him personally nor am I getting anything for mentioning his website. The reason I am is because of one thing he said… just one… that opened a door to so much more. Let’s see if you agree it’s a game-changer.
You wonder if I’ve lost my mind. You think you’ve read it wrong. You read it again. Still the same. ALL people? ALL the time? Hogwash, right?
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
I want to tell you that he has excellent insights into bullying and safety (in fact, his “lizard” work grabbed me by the collar and shook me to the core). He is also a marriage relationship expert. He’s been writing for decades and all his work seems to be crammed into this simple website. It’s not fancy, but it’s spectacular!
Okay, onward with this goofy notion that all people make sense all the time. You may wonder, as I did, how a sadistic sociopath makes sense all the time?
Well, I want you to visit Al’s site and read what he says about it… but I’ll give you my take, too… and why it matters so much to me.
It doesn’t matter who it is or what they are doing… inside the head of the person doing it… it makes some kind of sense… even if they don’t realize they’re doing it for a reason. (Wrap your head around that one!) You don’t have to like it – or them. You don’t have to understand – and may never understand,
And you, yourself, may do things that you don’t fully understand, nor will others. But there is an underlying reason. There always is!
ALL PEOPLE… ALL THE TIME.
But this isn’t my area of expertise, it’s Al’s. I hope you will find something useful to help build relationships. I have. And I will end with a story that illustrates it.
When I moved to Canada from the States, I had to go through a litany of paperwork and appointments — one of them was for TB testing, which included a lung x-ray. When I read that, I said to my husband, “Nope. Can’t do it. We’ll have to move to the States and you can do this stuff.” He was understandably concerned, if not a bit miffed, since we’d already paid to see an immigration lawyer, sent my fingerprints to the FBI, saved enough money to file all the paperwork and … of course, I was talking about uprooting myself again and dragging him away from his small children. All because of a lung x-ray. Really? Really.
Would it make more sense if you knew I have health anxiety?
My husband knew I had it (I’d told him, of course) but he hadn’t seen it in action… until now.
I am scared to death of medical tests… not the tests themselves, the results. I was afraid they’d find TB. Or worse yet, lung cancer. I needed time to process how needed this was in the realm of our lives and if I could “do it afraid”. It turned out, I could. And did. But the point is, it could have led to a big fight. My first marriage was riddled with fighting and misunderstandings followed by days of silence. Luckily, this marriage is nothing like the first. And I give credit where it is due… to people like Al Turtle, who taught me – and my husband – that we both make sense all the time.