Easy like Sunday – pERfectiON Not REquirED

 

I am taking so many meds these days. Such a bummer. Hopefully, I can cut back on some of them as my health improves. In the meantime, I can’t keep track of what I’ve taken and what I still need to take on any given day… so, I decided to make a chart.

I was going to make it on my computer because Excel is one heck of a nice program but… I wanted to draw out what I needed first. So, I found a piece of blank paper (pink, isn’t it lovely?), a pen and ruler. Then I started mapping it out. If I made a mistake, I went over it with white-out and corrected. I didn’t need to worry because the shiny, new, perfect copy would be done later. It would then be printed out and placed on our fridge, where I would fill in the daily check marks, so I won’t get lost in medicationville.

When I finished the graph… I did a little editing with more white-out. The pen started leaking so there was a gloppy line or two. Also, I drew two or three of the lines too close to words, which looks unprofessional and messy. No problem, I told myself, I was only working on a draft that nobody would ever see.

And finally, I finished my graph, sat in front of the computer and opened Excel.

It was only then that it hit me.

Why was I putting all that I had just created with my own little hands onto a digital spreadsheet? This was not a school assignment or a work project. It is a graph to keep track of my daily medication. Nobody who isn’t invited into our home will see it and even if they did… so what?

So, I came here to write instead. To share with you that even after a lifetime of working on myself… I still expect and require more of myself than is necessary. Creation and destruction… I do it all the time.

But the GOOD NEWS is… I caught it! I caught myself! I DO NOT NEED perfection in all things. In fact, I would wager… very FEW things. This is certainly not one of them! All I need to do is make copies of what I’ve already worked so hard on. Done and done!

So, onward we go… you and I… on our self-help journey. Step by step, we’ll get there. Where is there? Wherever we are!

1 Comment

  1. Reblogged this on The Self-Help Whisperer® and commented:

    April 14, 2021

    Today’s reblog is a post about my perfectionism and myriad meds. Fitting.

    See, yesterday, after six months of being off, I decided to go back on my Cipralex, which is for depression, mostly, and anxiety, too. It’s a super-low dosage but somehow takes the edge off for me.

    “Takes the edge off” what? Dizziness, mostly, which I’m told is vertigo and anxiety. Do I believe the doctors? No. I’m sure I have MS. I don’t say this jokingly or with even a hint of humor. Is it my health anxiety? Hypochondria? Some (including my doctor) would say yes.

    So, there you go.

    Anyway, the last time I was consistently dizzy, I had (once again) taken a sabbatical from this, my most important mental health med. It took approximately one week for the dizziness to go away, which of course leads the doctor to believe she’s right and I’m wrong.

    Instead of going into a diatribe of all my symptomatology and the tests run to rule out MS or any other brain disorder (you’re welcome!) I’ll just say that many factors – not the least of which is my Dad’s death – have collided into an emotional stew.

    Grief sucks. Depression sucks. Anxiety sucks. And we haven’t even gotten into the post I wrote… oh… back in December 2017.

    But yeah, perfectionism. Mentioned it yesterday, as a matter of fact.

    Just when I think I’ve figured stuff out… I realize that in the last four years… yeah, not so much. Ugh.

    Like

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