For years… if you were like me… you believed in intuition, gut feelings and all that jazz… for other people. That’s because you’d… maybe… listened to your inner voice and it steered you wrong.
Or did it?
That’s the thing about intuition… you have to hear it and not get it confused with the cacophony of voices (some in your own head). Not only do you have to hear it… you have to listen. And-and-and… not add or subtract from it.
Like the time I was trying to decide about moving to Canada to be with my (now) husband.
I’ve told this story a few times, not sure if it was here or not. Please just come with me…
I remember sitting on my bed – the one with the yellow sheets. I can see the creamy-colored wall in front of me. I feel the phone in my hand. The year was 2000.
My (soon-to-be) husband lived in Calgary. It was far enough away but not so far from my family in California that I couldn’t plan visits over a long weekend. A three-hour (or so) flight away, and up. Drivable, even, in a pinch. Another country, yeah… there was that. But you know, we’re attached. It wouldn’t be so bad.
We’d rented an apartment on my last visit. In both of our names. Making plans. Working out what it would mean in every conceivable way… from visits with our children to immigration to jobs to marriage. Everything.
Suddenly, everything had changed. The job he was doing ended. The life he’d been living for the last six months came to a crashing halt. I knew things might change but not in the way they did.
He was looking for work. All over. Anywhere.
And as we talked on the phone that day…
“The job is in Ontario,” he said.
Ontraio, Canada, not Ontario, California. Thousands of miles away. East. Way east. There was no way in hell for anyone to drive back and forth. Flying was the only choice. Eight or more hours. So. far. away.
But close to his family, his children, his former life. No longer were we in the middle, both sacrificing.
“I can’t go,” I said, without thinking.
That moment is etched in my brain. The wall in front of me. The sweat on my brow. My heart beating.
And then, over the course of hours, days… I changed my mind.
My children were much older than his. Two were adults, my 16-year-old son would likely have stayed with his dad anyway.
His children were young (7 and 10, if I remember correctly). They needed their dad.
I would sacrifice. And so I went.
Here’s the thing. My gut knew I shouldn’t go. My head knew it, too, but also added to the story. It went a little like this:
I can’t go. (If I don’t, I’ll lose him. All this planning would have been for nothing. All the therapy and planning with my children would have been for nothing. Quitting my job in preparation would have been for nothing.)
That last part wasn’t my intuition talking. Only the part that said “I can’t go” was truly from my gut.
Because… if it had been, I’d might have reasoned that I could ask for my job back, wait until things settled down, brought my husband to the States instead of the other way around… any number of things that would have respected my gut and my heart. But I didn’t. And I’m telling you… we have suffered and struggled in mighty ways because of it. From beginning to end… and I don’t exaggerate on this AT ALL.
My sacrifice became a sacrifice of many, especially my children. The guilt, the shame… the resentment… all because I didn’t listen. Damn waste!
And yes, of course I have many other examples of my intuition being spot-on. But this one was truly the biggest, most life-altering decisions I ever made… and I went squarely AGAINST what I knew… to my (and many people I love) peril, as I’ve said.
(And none of this takes away from the love my husband and I share in spite of some poor decision-making at the beginning.)
So yeah, I tend to trust my gut these days.
A little about these two books:
Practical Intuition is older but only by a year. It’s a conversation between the author and the reader. There are lots of questions and answers, exercises and biographical information about the author.
The Intuitive Way is more like The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron in set up, especially, but also in the tone. It’s jammed-packed with exercises, quotes and has lots of space for doodles, notes and thoughts.
I kept both books through the years because they seem to come from different perspectives, though I don’t know why, since they’re both women who speak, train and mentor.
Peirce is also a clairvoyant empath… so there’s a mystical feel to the book, as well. Day’s book feels a little more straightforward, I guess. Heck, I don’t know why they feel so different… but they do. But as I say, I love them both!
If you are interested in using more of your intuitive power – and we ALL have it – these two books are a great start.
By the way, both women also have websites, which I encourage you to visit:
Laura Day’s Website (I especially like this one!)
Penney Peirce’s Website (She writes orical letters that seem like … predictions… and I’m not sure I “like” them. However, I really do love the book and respect her right to share whatever she wishes on her website.)