Bio Moment? Advice? You be the judge – When all else fails, wear a hat

People who worry about their hair all the time, frankly, are boring. –Barbara Bush

This is a story about my bangs. But it’s also not. You’ll see.

But I have to start with my hair. Be patient.

Every few months, I cut my hair. I say “I” but what I mean is, I go somewhere to have it done.

I’ve gone through a zillion hairstyles, like most women, I suppose, but always fall back into the short, pixie cut. I had short hair when I graduated high school, grew it out for a few years and then had kids. Tiny fingers grabbing at your hair is a pretty good catalyst for cutting it short again, which I did. And then, I’d get bored and try to grow it out again. Often times, it would hit a certain point that I call… “Little boy on the paint can” or “Buster Brown”…


You get the picture – literally. While this hairstyle may be cute on these guys and a handful of five-to-eight-year-olds, it is not – I REPEAT, NOT – cute on me. Never was, never will be. So, I try to grow it out, get pissed off when it hits this point, and tell someone to cut it off.

So, about ten weeks ago, I decided to try – once again – to grow out the pixie cut I’ve been sporting for the last year or so. The expected results (paint can & shoes, see pictures above) arrived and when I normally would have had someone cut it off, I persevered. I pushed the sides behind my ears and kept on keeping on… until one day when I realized… hey, wait! I really like how this is looking! My bangs are totally on point.

But I needed a trim on the back, for sure. All that pixie leftover made for a scraggly mess back there.

I’ll admit, I was scared. I haven’t had a steady hairdresser for months, since my fave shop closed. Also, it’s been a long time since I’ve worn bangs. What if someone messed them up?

What to do? What to do?

After going to the store and buying special haircutting scissors (don’t freak!) I just couldn’t gather the courage to do it myself. Duh, not a hairdresser, right?

So, professional haircut it was.

Here’s where the first bit of trouble occurred. Remember, I have no usual hairdresser. What does one do when you simply must have the hair done NOW? You go to Fantastic/ Fresh/Super/First… Some guy’s name/Cuts/Clippers/Choice… of course!

Luckily, I had a recent photo of my perfect bangs, which I pulled out and showed the stylist. “Oh,” she said, “I see what you mean! Sure, no problem.”

I should warn you that these photos are completely un-retouched, as if I even know what that means. No editing at all, though one was in a brightly lit room and the other was in my car. The photo on the left is from the picture I showed the stylist/hair-hacker. The photo on the right is my bangs this morning. Notice my eyes… as if I hadn’t realized how gawd-awful these bangs really are (I hadn’t!).

Not only are they … whatever that is … there’re now more of them! Yep, she took my wispy long bangs and turned them into a solid wall of hideousness. But never fear, they’re longer on the sides. And by that I mean… that somehow… she managed to cut them scallywag in the middle and leave the sides alone. I think? I promise you… I did nothing to make these look worse than they are. Just dried them as I usually do, with a round brush.


On the plus side, you get what you pay for (or should that be: pay what you get-for?).

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what $15.95 looks like, in hair parlance.

Now, why am I sharing this with you? And where is the advice? Good questions, both.

Here’s what I realized this morning. Ahem: Go to a cheap hair cutter and you should expect a cheap (and probably shitty) haircut.

And guess what? I am worth more than cheap ANYthing. So are YOU!

I actually noticed this last month… just didn’t realize it pertains to everything. See, I love this certain car wash that pampers my Ruby. But it’s expensive, compared to, say, a free splash with the garden hose or the $5 quasi-wash at a DIY in some cubicle-thingy behind a gas station.

As I waited in line at the fancy car wash, I noticed something. I wasn’t aware that I could choose to have the outside of my car washed by the professionals for only $10.25. I had *assumed* that you had to have the inside of your car done, as well, which adds another sawbuck or so.

Wow! A high-end car wash without all the bells and whistles. Neato! Here’s how to get quality workmanship for a lower price.

The same might have been said for my haircut, had I looked around at actual salons. You know, with a Jr. stylist or supervised student.

And if not… I’ve adopted a new saying:

It’s better not to do something at all than do it half-assed with a cheap or no price option.

Case in point: my bangs. I now have to go around looking like this. I’ve been pushing them off my face, for the most part, so maybe nobody notices… except me, of course. But dang, I can’t believe how bad they are.

You’re probably wondering if I said anything about it. Am I right? Well, here’s how it went down. I take off my glasses for the haircut, obviously. Flat out, I didn’t see how bad they were until it was over. By then, it was too late.

Moral of story? See bolded statement above.

And maybe, this:

“You deserve exactly what you settle for.” Anonymous

I’ve decided that I deserve the best of everything. That doesn’t mean diamonds, gold and new houses and cars, although, yeah, that would be something. “The best” may mean car washes less often or fewer haircuts…  but I need to be patient. Hold out for the best.

“Know who you are. Know what you want. Know what you deserve. And don’t settle for less.” Tony Gaskins

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