The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck – Huh. Huh?

Self-improvement and success often occur together. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the same thing. – Mark Manson

He was a loser. […] He never tried to be anything other than what he was. – Mark Manson

Mark Manson is just like you and me. Well, actually, not exactly like you and me. I want to be like him, though. Wanna know why? Well, yes, there’s that… you know, his wildly popular book which is the star of today’s blog post: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. But that’s not what I’m talking about. Yet. What I’m talking about is his blog which has turned into a juggernaut. He started blogging in 2007… yeah, a long time ago.

Lesson #1 – Monetizing this blog may take a little longer than I thought.

Of course, Mark talks about this – not monetizing my blog but “desiring a more positive experience”. He suggests that “acceptance of one’s negative experience is in itself a positive experience.” And did I said suggest? I meant to say, says. It’s what he says.

But first – a disclaimer. If you don’t like the word f*ck (which by the way is only asterisked on the cover of the book. The remainder of f*cks – and there are many – is the full-out f-word, which I won’t say here because I have a strict no-f-word or c-word policy)… then for goodness sakes, stay away from this book. It’s on every f’ing page!

Okay, back to the book…

Manson says that “wanting a positive experience is a negative experience; accepting negative experience is a positive experience.”

So, what do you think of that? I know, right? Mind, blown!!!

He says some guy named Alan Watts (never heard of him before this book) used to refer to this phenomenon as “The Backwards Law” – the idea that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become.

Well!! This certainly flies in the face of The Secret and all that “positive thinking” and “law of attraction” crap… er, philosophy, doesn’t it?

Now why did I say it that way? I don’t actually think it’s crap – the law of attraction, I mean. It honestly makes sense to me and there’s scientific proof that it works. I kinda/ sorta love the whole “Law of Attraction” thing. Ahem.

To listen to Manson, the more you want something, the less likely you are to get it. But what about those rich gurus who wanted money and most definitely HAVE IT? Huh? Huh? What about them, Mark?

Lesson #2 – It’s all relative. Carry on!

Look, I’m going to give you a realistic summary of what this book is actually about…

Get ready.

Most of us give a F* about too many things. Prune away the things that aren’t worth the time and/or effort of giving a F* and then go ahead and give a F* about the things that are left.

The book delves into how to do this, which includes:

  • Self-Awareness
  • Reality

It really is that simple.

Lesson #3 – Manage expectations.

However, the book uses 200+ pages to explain. And it’s totally worth reading! Manson is smart, funny, and not-at-all sentimental. He’s conversational, down-to-earth and obviously knows a thing or two. It’s a good book. A f’ing good book. 

Short aside: I originally thought this little meditation by Jason Headley went with the book. It doesn’t but it should. Just thought I’d share: F*ck That: A Guided Meditation