In my world, everything that happens is attached to meaning. So, what does this mean?
I was sitting at my desk at work, when what should appear but a visual migraine. Just when I think it’s over for good… nope!… it’s come back, or never left, or just wants to hang around a little longer. I went to that “dread” place that sometimes happens when one has health anxiety. My entire body went cold, I started tingling all over…
Then, I talked to myself: Sher, it’s the computer screen, the two lit Christmas trees in the office… your birthday …
Birthday. What’s this? Why, why, why? Am I that afraid of getting older? I don’t care! At least, that’s what I’ve told myself. HAHAHAHA because, I just did a search on “60” for this blog… and let’s just say I’ve “mentioned it” a few times. <<< I stopped counting at 50.
So, I’m now 60. Big deal. I’m no different than yesterday. Except, you know, I am.
I now enter my third act, if acts come in thirties. You know, 0-29, 30-59, 60-death. There’s that frikkin’ death again. Hm. Maybe I identify 60 with death? No reason for that! My parents are both doing well, thankyaverymuch. My grandmother was over 90 when she passed. I come from good stock, longivity-ily (I know it’s not a word) speaking. So, where does this belief come from, if indeed it is one? Belief, I mean.
Nope, don’t believe it. Not about death. So, what is it?
Okay, yes… I’m entering a new chapter of my life. End of story. No, that’s not right. NOT the end of my story. Not yet!
It’s just that the paintbrush I once held, that pushed a swath of bold colors across a blank canvas… has become smaller, more intricate, though easily as meaningful. Possibly, more so!
That girl I was in my featured photo… who had her whole life in front of her… well, she’s seen and done some things… and she has more to do!
This morning, as I was coming up to the drive-thru for a coffee, I had entered the lot a different way and landed perpendicular to a line that had already formed. I needed to back up and go around. However, a kind gentlemen motioned for me to go ahead of him. When I got to the window, I offered to pay for his coffee and said, “Tell him thank you for letting me in line,” and the server said, “Oh, that’s funny, because he told us he wants to pay for the guy behind him and say thank you for being patient!”
And so, this is how my day began… with faith in humanity renewed … and a smile.
So my visual migraine… it could have been a million things. Or just one. I’m a little anxious about this new chapter. And that’s okay. The migraine is gone. No pain. Just a little woozy. A good night’s sleep will take care of that!
I will be looking forward to this adventure, pen and paintbrush in hand. I hope you will join me. Let’s see what we can do!!