I’ve opened this laptop a half-dozen times. I sat down, wrote “Bio Moment” and stared at the empty page. I played Solitaire. I stopped, made dinner. Ate it. Talked to our cat, Hannah. Sat back down, bit my nails (thank you, anxiety!) then looked at the screen, which by then was like a white neon light burning out the retinas of my eyes. I put my fingers over the keys… write, dammit, write.
To be clear, this annoys the shit out of me. And in saying that, I realize I’m angry. I said shit. It has become the defining sign… using a bad word, I mean. It’s the point when I realize… and there’s no denying… I’m pissed.
I feel like ranting. A good rant, like Clark Griswold . Holy Shit. Where’s the Tylenol? It’s funny, how universal Clark’s anger is… when you’ve tried your hardest to make something good… and it all goes awry (or at least, most of it does)… but you keep trying, anyway… and trying… until that last thing… the final thing that pushes you over the edge… and then it’s… *kaboom*…
I’m in the mood to kaboom.
Huh. Wasn’t as satisfying as I expected.
Here’s something funny. I’ve never noticed this before, but there’s a free library of photos you can access on WordPress. I only noticed because I thought it would be good to have a picture of a cute little bomb next to the word “kaboom,” you know?
Aside: See, I never knew it before because I always use my own art and have this uppity feeling that because I do, I’m being super-ethical or something. Yeah, I’m judge-y that way.
Anyhow, I (of course!) don’t have a picture of a bomb so I thought, hey, I’ll look at that photo gallery. I typed “bomb” into the search engine and hit enter. A couple of war photos. No cute little bombs. Then I tried “kaboom.” Nothing. And then it occurs to me that … maybe?… it’s not a good idea (you know, in these volatile times) to be searching for those kinds of photos. So, I typed “daisy” instead. Thank you Bess Hamiti, who provided this photo for Pexels.com.
So yeah, just in kind of a funk today and originally wrote a very long post about all kinds of crap (you wouldn’t want to hear about – trust me on that!). So, I erased it.
I didn’t want to NOT write. So, this is what you get.
For your viewing pleasure… here’s another photo of (probably NOT an actual) kindly doctor who I don’t know. He looks nice, though… doesn’t he? I wouldn’t expect bad news from him but if he had to… he’d have good bedside manner, I think.
Now I’m just being silly.
Am I anxious? Depressed? Who knows? Certainly not me. I mean, I don’t know. God, I hate days like today!
But you know, I made myself laugh a little. So, it’s all good. Hope I gave you a smile, anyway. 🙂