“So coffee equals fat cells. P.S. It also makes your breath smell like ass.” – Skinny Bitch
Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin is the spawn of Satan.
Actually, it’s an incredibly excellent or full-of-crap book (depends on who you ask) about my ever-present nemesis: FAT.
What do you call a book that touts an (approximately) 800-ish calorie a day diet? If you’re skinny and healthy… you might call it… perfect. If you’re a little overweight… you might call it… a bit over-zealous. If you’re fatter-than-holy-hell… you might call it… and take this from me… genius. See? Depends.
The cover says it’s tough-love and good-God, it *is* that. If you’re a baby-snowflake, you’ll want to steer clear! And sorry about the “baby-snowflake” comment. That was uncalled for. It’s just that… I’m in a bad mood now. Why? *sigh* I got on the scale today. I was 100% naked and feelin’ strong and sassy. Until I saw the number, that is… and oh boy, lookie that?! I have gained 4 pounds over the holiday season. Never mind it’s nearly the end of January already. Ugh and double ugh. From strong and sassy to weak and ashamed. The trials and tribs of a lifelong dieter. Where goes the scale, so goes the confidence. You may quote me.
I looked at myself in the mirror and deemed the reflection fit to go to work without washing my hair, which I almost always still do daily. Thank goodness for greasy skin, younger folks. You may have to wash your hair daily until you’re over 60 but it also keeps wrinkles at bay. But I digress. Bottom line: I felt ugly so I made sure I looked uglier, or something like that.
As I was driving home from work, I decided that I’m going to stop eating. My reasoning? If I got that surgery my doctor has been bugging me about, I wouldn’t be able to eat anyway and would have the added (not actual) benefit of sutures, scaring and manipulation of a major organ or two in my body. If I do it my non-surgical way… no pain, no attendant surgery-issues. It would be just liquid and me, with the result being a new, svelte body. Win/win! It all sounded so good in my head.
I got home and ate two sugar cookies. (My plan was to start my liquid diet on Monday, people!)… and then I pulled out this book. You know, with a lifetime of dieting under my belt and quite a few blog posts about weight (or tiptoeing around it, anyway)… well, I’m a freakin’ expert on what I need to do to lose it. Aren’t we all? I have almost an entire shelf of weight-related books. Well, I’ve talked about this before, haven’t I? Onward!
Skinny Bitch will actually tell you nothing new. Sugar is evil. Check. Carbs are bad. Check. Dairy (milk) sucks (pun intended). Check. Meat? Well… no, no and no! You’ll find protein elsewhere in your diet. And you’ll save animals. They like that, these skinny bitches. Pssst: Me, too! I’ve been trying to quit the meat habit for years. Whole story that I won’t get into here. You’re welcome.
Anyway. About the diet… get it, got it, good. Understood.
Be prepared. There is an overriding message that “Healthy =skinny. Unhealthy = fat.” We all know this isn’t always truth. Also, the whole… body confidence movement… yeah… no place for that here, either!
And, yes, if you haven’t already caught my drift… there’s cursing (lot of it)… if that kind of thing bothers you.
Is the book good? Yep, in many ways. If you’re thinking of going vegan, it’s right up your alley. It’s also funny as hell. Mostly.
Also, there’s a chapter on pooping. I mean, c’mon, could you ask for anything more?
Actually, yes. You could ask for something that treats you with compassion instead of disgust.
I can’t decide if I like it or hate it, folks. If you read it… or end up reading it… tell us what you think. I’d love to hear your thoughts.