Secrets You Keep From Yourself – Unless you’re like me, in which case…

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain. – The Wizard of Oz

The entire premise of this book is wasted on me. Not that it’s a bad book… it certainly is NOT. What I mean to say is that I know all the secrets… I sabotage my own happiness… willingly?… not exactly… but knowingly, know what I mean?

Secrets You Keep From Yourself by Dan Neuharth, Ph.D. is a very, VERY good book. I read it years ago… probably around 2004, when it came out. There’s a  – sarcasm – short list  – sarcasm off – of the ways people unwittingly sabotage themselves and it happens to be on the front of my book cover. Let’s see…

  • Procrastinating
  • Wishful thinking
  • Emotional Eating
  • Getting distracted
  • Feeling undeserving
  • Impulse buying
  • Pursuing short-term gain despite long-term pain
  • Ignoring or minimizing problems you need to face
  • Struggling in disappointing or frustrating relationships
  • Feeling overwhelmed or in “survival mode”
  • Fearing success
  • Having too much to do but taking on more
  • Rarely enjoying present moments
  • Sacrificing your values and longings
  • Dwelling on regrets or resentments
  • Denying yourself victory or pleasure
  • Feeling uncertain whether you trust your own judgment

Yeah, I’ve never had any of those things happen.


In my case, I can point them out, over and over. No secrets kept from myself here. Nope! Nada!



And yeah, some of 2011.

Also, that 2014-into-2015 emotional-crash thingy. But that’s all. (And see how I called it a “thingy” as if a breakdown can be cute-i-fied. I’m so clever and darling. Ugh.)

Neuharth mined the depths of this subject and he will help you to do the same. The book is jam-packed! It’s also a fairly easy read, though it is not an easy subject to read about. Especially if you are keeping secrets from yourself. You may find yourself nodding in agreement or looking around in embarrassment, hoping nobody knows what you’re thinking.

(Hint: You’re thinking about the time you were 20 and drove to the valley to meet Lucio, the cute waiter from the trans-Panama cruise who followed you to California because he was in love with you – wanted a green card – and your car’s engine konked out and your dad had to drive all the way out to the valley too (like, 60 miles or 100, I don’t remember) and tow you home and then, several weeks later, you didn’t check the oil again after he told you exactly how to do it and ran out in the middle of the night with a cracked head – the engine block, not yours – and your dad had to rebuild the entire engine in the garage. You know, something like that. Just guessing.)

I am the Great Saboteur. Can you tell? If there was a cape, I’d own that sucker! I could tell you a million of ’em… and in fact, if you go back through my hundreds of blog posts, you’d read a few. I never didn’t sabotage myself. Yeah, it’s a double-negative. Live with it. See, I’m getting snippy… which means… 

It’s hitting me. This is something I’ve needed to change for a long, long time. How about you?

This book is filled with stories, quotes, charts, quizzes, tools and loads of hope and compassion. It’s super!

Now, as far as those years I need to sort out (1999, 2011, 2014-15)… yeah, I’m working on it.

1 Comment

  1. Reblogged this on The Self-Help Whisperer® and commented:

    July 26, 2021 – Reading through this post up for reblog is… painful. Not sock-in-the-gut or anything… but…. cringe-y.

    But, I’ll tell ya…

    I’m definitely better than I was when I wrote this way back in 2019. Gee, that wasn’t long ago. Still, I’ve changed… for the better, me thinks.

    The last line of my original post says: “Now, as far as those years I need to sort out (1999, 2011, 2014-15)… yeah, I’m working on it.” and you know what? I HAVE BEEN!

    I hope you’ll take the time (about 3 minutes) to read through this (if you haven’t before – or even if you have, as a refresher).


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