Today is Family Day in Canada. What that means to me is a day off. For my husband, not so much. He’s a reporter and it’s his “weekend” to work, so working today, he is. There are Family Skates and events all over the region, so off he’s gone to cover it all. Oh, how I wish my family was near so I could do family-stuff. I really miss everyone! Especially on days like today!
It feels like an extended weekend… and actually… it kinda feels like Sunday, therefore the “Easy like” Monday. 🙂
This weekend has been an amazing time of reflection. My husband gave me some (accidentally on purpose) ideas that have nudged me to action! I only wish I’d felt like this days or weeks ago. It’s been a tough-go lately.
Depression and anxiety can be crippling. I know I talk about this a lot but that’s because it affects me a lot. I know I’m not the only one. I get private messages from people who thank me for sharing… and then they share with me. What an honor to realize they feel safe enough to share themselves with me about something so personal. Folks, the pit is dark, dank and lonely. Never give up on the people you love who suffer… even if you just sit at the edge and call down that you care. It means the world.
Two weeks ago, it felt like I would buckle under the weight of the weather, the darkness, the lack of motivation and drive to move forward. I love this blog but I was wondering if it made a difference at all. I visit other blogs, as all good bloggers should, and I’d see someone write just one paragraph, perhaps with misspellings and poor grammar, and get 49 “likes” and lots of comments.
I’d think of the hours I spend on a post (what-with researching, finding photos, links and then writing)… and maybe, if I’m lucky, I get a handful of likes… a comment, or two. I was feeling very sorry for myself, indeed! I lamented to my husband and mom that there seemed no way forward… I was stagnating. They offer ideas… and I’d say it can’t be done.
The light came in!!! All those ideas… from my mom, my husband, my friends Betsy and Kaden… boom, boom, boom… fell into place! Suddenly, I could see how to pull the threads together and make some things happen.
And so I started the ball rolling today.
My life is NOT stagnant.
Am I still depressed? Am I still bummed about the cold, dark weather?
I realized that some of what I’m dealing with comes from the fact that I have never felt quite “at home” here. There are many reasons for it… and some is “simply” flat-out guilt. (How DARE I feel happy when my entire family is far away – and by my own actions. I’m the one who moved, after all! I don’t DESERVE to succeed. I don’t HAVE A RIGHT to happiness!)
Yes, I miss my family since moving to Canada. BUT – I AM HERE RIGHT NOW.
I have work to do! Important work!
And ultimately, it may lead me to more opportunities to see my family. 🙂 I sure hope so!
And today, I have taken the first step!
I GET IT NOW!
I’m not being coy or wanting you to ask what this is all about. Let’s just say there are some irons in the fire… and they aren’t just smoldering away… I’m feeling the heat! As soon as I know for sure about anything, you’ll be the first (well, after my husband and mom) to know!
I LOVE THIS SPACE and all my social media that supports it… but I will also… at the same time… be doing something else. Multitasking, baby. It’s all the rage for 60-year-olds.
Thank you for being here. And here’s to growth… even at my age!