Grown-up Glamour – When you have to make that incessant tapping stop!

Once upon a time, I told you about tapping. No, twice. Twice upon a time, which was actually only days ago. I also mentioned that I’m wrestling with it mightily. In fact, I am, at turns, ignoring and then kicking at it. I’m sure I’ll be talking about Part 3 soon.

I stopped just now and sighed, heavily. And now I have to stop again because I notice that twice in the last three sentences I’ve used an adverb, which Stephen King says is the laziest way of writing. Do I really need to say “mightily” or “heavily”? You tell me. But (as usual) I digress.

The inside cover of this books says: A guide for the woman who wants to age naturally and in  style, cutting a dash and turning heads without resorting to cosmetic surgery and faddy diets.

Well, I’m an older woman. I don’t want to resort to cosmetic surgery. I don’t want to diet.

Well, I almost got it right.

I am a bit (a bit? Ha!) of a dichotomy. I hate fluff and yet, one of my guiltiest pleasures is leafing through magazines… and I don’t mean important periodicals or newsworthy articles, like in Time. Nope, I mean the fat, glossy, glamour magazines with beautiful photos and ads that go way above my head. And, ahem, I even like (gasp!) gossipy fare, just not the fakes like “Woman delivers 25 pound martian baby”. I mean, I like People.

Grown-up Glamour by Caroline Cox is like a glamour magazine, in that you’ll want to browse through it at your leisure. No pressure.

The cover is embossed with deep blue velvet and the pages are heavy in mauves and ivories with quotes, advice, ideas and photos of famous people.

Take, for example, this quote:

I would rather lose a good earring than be caught without makeup. – Lana Turner

I purposely chose that quote among the many fine quotes in the book because I do not wear much makeup. I watch videos of makeup and love to see pretty makeup and in truth, I used to like makeup a lot more before I had to wear these goofy glasses (channeling Jan Brady).

Also, about eight years ago, I decided to stop dying my hair, which horrified many of my friends, mostly women who were perfectly happy to continue the every-three-week ritual known in my house as, “Oh my God, I stained the bathroom floor again.”

I knew I had a fair amount of gray, as my roots were showing me too soon after the dye job. I went very short and was pleased with the results until it grew a little more on the sides and I looked like Walter Cronkite, circa 1973.

My friends had said I’d look old and washed-out and they were right. It was a back-and-forth process… growing out, dying, chopping off, growing out, dying, etc.

One day about three years ago, I grew it out for the last time and I have to say, I love and hate it. I could talk smack about my dumb hair but that would be boring and have nothing to do with the book.

Ahem. Anyway.

The gray hair with no makeup … sometimes looks fab (at least, in my own mind) and sometimes looks a lot like … well, actually, since I’ve seen the photo on the Wikipedia page I linked above, I’ll repeat… Walter Cronkite, hanging jowls and all.

Note: Not that there’s anything wrong with that. He was a fine looking man. He wouldn’t have made a very pretty woman though. But again, I digress.

This is a fun and entertaining read and you’ll learn some stuff, too, thanks to the advice of famous beauties like Marilyn Monroe, who suggests sleeping on a satin pillow to avoid wrinkles.

Purposeful digression: I once read that Jaclyn Smith only sleeps on her back and propped up so her hair doesn’t get weird bumps and crunches. You’re welcome.

The women in this book go way back, as you can tell, but move up into the present-day, like Michelle Obama. So don’t worry, it’s not old-fashioned advice about wearing rollers in public. Also, don’t do that. I actually saw someone recently with a head-full at the grocery store. What is this, 1962?

So yeah, this book is quite nice… and a lovely diversion, you know, from tapping.

I know, I know!

*sigh*