Bio Moment – Boundaries and (Online) Bullies and Snowflakes, Oh My!

I created this space as a safe space. Oh God, how certain people hate that word: Safe. It’s sure to bring out the ***best*** in some of them. Mostly, I don’t have problems. Certainly not here. The problem becomes … when I go … out there.

This evening, my husband is at a meeting and I was scrolling through Facebook when I saw a horrifying photo. It was of a dead giraffe. Not just dead, but poached. With hunters atop. One of them, a child. So, dead giraffe, smiling people. Disgusting. I know we can all agree on that.

Or, at least, I thought so.

A lone voice wrote a comment that said, in short, that photos like that were very disturbing to her. They hurt her soul. I completely agree. I have often said that I cannot see photos of mutilated, decapitated, tortured people or animals without literally getting sick myself.  I’m empathic and also, highly sensitive (HSP) and said as much in a reply to hers.

Next thing I know, there’s a “lol” emoticon on my comment and a reply:

Sheryl Nelsen Hutton [and the woman I was responding to] “i dont care if giraffes go extinct” i fuckin hate you pathetic pieces of shits

Then, I responded: [name] Wrong. I care deeply and hate poachers. I also volunteer and give to animal rights groups. I just don’t like seeing photos like this. I get that you disagree but that was harsh.

Many other voices joined the chorus… a bit of groupthink took over, in my opinion. Yes, the word “snowflake” was bandied about, along with being called a coward. Coward, eh? How does that even make sense in this context?


Anyway, one response (in particular) stood out to me. It said:

Look, high empath here. Hiding your head in the sand and pretending shit like this doesn’t happen is very unhealthy and immature way of handling the situation. 

You gotta face that shit and toughen up, things like this are the state of the world. To try to hide it from yourself is to force yourself to repeat the same pain over and over.

To which I responded: {name] Actually, knowing what is best *for you* is the healthy and mature choice. It’s called having boundaries. I have no idea how expecting something different from [name of Facebook page] has turned into an argument between a bunch of people that actually agree that the photo is horrifying and the people in it are disgusting and sad. There are more comments on [original poster’s] comment than on any other, even the guy who said giraffes are good eating. How the hell does this happen?

How the hell DID this happen?

Some might say I should have just ignored the comments. Yeah, I probably should have. I was trying to be a peacekeeper. But you already know that.

But I gotta say, that first guy sounded mean. It scared me. The second one was a guy, too. But make no mistake, there were some very vocal women, as well.

Ya know, in the past, I have deleted my entire Facebook account because of less. Yes, seriously.


But I’m not the same person I used to be.

So today was a day to be a little braver than before. But to also take note…

Dear Self: Just unfollow a page that posts photos like that. No comments needed.



  1. We all get suckered into commenting on a post that we wished we hadn’t. It truly amazes me how angry and vile some human beings can be…This post is a good reminder to simply unfollow that which doesn’t align with you.

    Liked by 1 person

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