Today, as I get back to mornal… er, normal… I shall talk about The Divorce Remedy by Michele Weiner Davis. And it shall be good.
Uh, what I mean is… it IS good. The book, I mean. Ugh. This getting back to mornal thing is overrated, for sure!
I will not be telling you about my divorce (it sucked) or my husband’s divorce (also sucked) or any divorces (they pretty-much ALL suck) or why you should work hard at your marriage because you promised to do so in your vows (unless you wrote something otherwise).
I will not be going into detail about how one of my adult kids sat me down not long ago to tell me I didn’t work hard enough to save my marriage to their father (I did – for years and years and years, but the kid didn’t realize it because I didn’t share my struggles until much later and they had other things on their mind at the time, like avoiding naps and getting another cookie and buying their first backpack for school). I also won’t tell you about how all kids hate divorce, even adult kids, even kids in their 30s and beyond and by this I mean, nobody LIKES divorce.
Also, I will not be telling you to read this book OR ELSE (fist raised) because marriage is sacred above all relationships and makes the world go round – or even sideways and/or upside-down if you’re a flat-earther.
I further ask that you ignore the recommendation on the front of the book from John Gray, as I find him icky.
What I will say is that this book is one of the best if you want to save your marriage. And under most circumstances, it is a very wise choice, especially if there are young children involved.
I like marriage. I liked taking my husband’s names. What’s interesting is that the first time, I took my husband’s name and left my maiden name behind. This time, I took my husband’s name and kept my maiden name. I realized it mattered to me. That’s why I have two last names, non-hyphenated, thankyaverymuch. (Also, is “non-hyphenated” with a hyphen the best pun ever? Ha!)
Marriage … a good marriage … is wonderful. I recommend it.
A bad marriage will eat your soul alive and spit it on the roadside.
But really, a bad relationship of ANY kind will get the job done. How well we ALL know that, eh?
So, this book is a good one. I’m telling you about it. Next stop for it? The box where I’m collecting old water glasses, an oven timer and some clothes to go to the Thrift Shop.
My husband and I have been married … let’s see… 18 years. First marriage lasted 20 years. I knew we were in trouble years and years and years before the divorce came. In this marriage, we treat each other with respect, don’t cheat, have been through the best and the worst and never faltered in our love or commitment. It would take an act of God to tear it apart.
I won’t be needing this book.
But you might.
If you do, a book like this might be just the thing to give you the encouragement you need to begin the work. And it will be work. But worth it for a good marriage.
Final note: If your marriage is a bad one and getting worse… might I suggest you work on yourself first so you’re strong enough to make a wise decision? In fact, it’s not a bad idea no matter what the circumstances. It’s like those instructions on airplanes: Put your oxygen mask on first, before helping others. That goes for your marriage, too.
Reblogged this on The Self-Help Whisperer® and commented:
November 29, 2021
Up for reblog…
An excellent book about a terrible time. Or rather, how to avoid it.
By the time many (most?) people realize they need a book like this…
It’s too late.
If you have a happy marriage, you may not even consider a book like this.
The fact is… there are two people in a marriage and it isn’t just you holding things together – or not.
The time to work on your marriage… is… ALL the time!
Take nothing – NOTHING – for granted, dear readers.
You just never know.