Easy like Sunday – Folks, I’m struggling

So… I have been so incredibly tired that I literally haven’t read a book in weeks. This is totally not like me AT ALL! I so miss reading!

It’s the first day of March and I also haven’t taken any enrichment classes yet this year.

But guess what? That’s changing this month! I just signed up for a first level Reiki class at the end of the month. Yay, me!!

But the struggle, my friends, is still very real. It’s not about depression or anxiety, either. It’s about the new job.

I – not a word of a lie – SUCK at it.

This is TOTALLY new for me as I’ve never sucked at a job. Oh, I’ve not liked jobs or had trouble standing or counting change or balancing my drawer … but NEVER totally sucked.

Until now.

So, you’ll say it’s a new job and you wouldn’t be wrong. Let’s just say they expect more at this point, three weeks in after the training.

Others are excelling. I am not.

Is it any wonder my colon is doing the washroom tango?

Ugh.

Let me tell you what’s really difficult about this. If you remember, this job was sent by God and/or manifested by me in December- on my birthday, no less. If this is true – and I believe it is – then there is a reason I have it.

And I’m trying very hard to do a good job!

The trouble is, my title is “expert” and for me, it takes time.

I FEEL LIKE A FRAUD.

Don’t get me wrong, they’re being kind and working with me. It just … feels like I’m in a foreign country. And I know I’m not the only one. But sometimes, it feels like it.

So, onward we go! And I’m taking that class. So excited!

It’s forward movement … even baby steps count…

Right?

5 comments

  1. I’m so sorry you feel so bad. I have been there with the job thing. Numerous times, as well as excelling at certain jobs numerous times. Sometimes there seems no rhyme or reason for it. I can only say there is a reason for all of this, and at some point, what will be, will be. Que sera, sera. Whatever it is that is going on, YOU GOT THIS AND YOU ROCK!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Right! And, there are all kind of reasons why things show up for us. Maybe this job is where you need to be *right now* so something else can find you at just the right time. Sorry it’s not working out wonderfully in the moment, though!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.