The Collective Wisdom of High-Performing Women – Found: I didn’t know I was lost

In that moment, I’d never felt more empowered. By holding people accountable for their actions and forgiving them, you let go of the negative energy – and release any power they have over you.  Jennifer Gillivan

The Collective Wisdom of High Performing Woman edited by Colleen Moorehead was presented to all the women in our company on International Women’s Day in March, 2020. It’s the kind of book that one might thoughtfully tuck into the bookcase next to other books to be read “sometime”.

That would be a mistake!

This is a powerhouse. Well, a Canadian powerhouse, which may or may not matter to you. It shouldn’t matter. There is gold to be mined here.

(Especially if you’ve been feeling as I have lately. How is that? Less than. Pushed down. Silenced. Thanks for asking.)

The women in this book ask you to CLAIM YOUR POWER. Own it!

I’ve been feeling this way for some time. It’s been worse since COVID-19 came around. And it pisses me right off!

But let me begin at the beginning.

I am still an American citizen living in Canada. I’ve always felt my citizenship was an honor, so I’ve kept it. I’ve thought about going duel but worried about the tax ramifications — I’ve seen a few of my fellow-Americans in Canada go through the IRS wringer. No thanks.

I have a deep respect for Canada and the way the country is run. I have been HIGHLY impressed with the provincial conservative leadership throughout this pandemic. Our Premier (Doug Ford) has been stellar. Respectful. Thoughtful. Angry at times and righteously so. I also like Trudeau’s handling of the national situation. Overall, super impressed and proud of Canada.

Speaking my mind didn’t use to be a problem. You might have surmised that I used to be quite… uh… outspoken. I often said things without thinking and hurt people. Sometimes, I overthought and still hurt people. Other times, I could be quite cruel. Somewhere along the line, I learned that being my authentic self hurt people.

So, I learned new ways of presenting myself that were… more palatable.

And I flowed into that persona like the tides of the ocean. What I didn’t realize is that the ebb and flow wasn’t gentle. In fact, it was like waves hitting a wall, over and over again… for years… until the wall began to crumble.

Now the wall has collapsed.

I have not been fully myself for a long time and it feels awkward and scary.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.  – Maya Angelou

I’m mixing up metaphors, I know. Oceans and walls and sports, oh my! But you get my drift. <<< unintentional pun about oceans.

This book helped me to find myself. I didn’t even know I was lost.

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