Bio Moment – Shadows, Cats & Wolves

Okay, the featured photo is Bette. She and I are very much alike – we both appreciate deep relaxation, eating treats, are a bit on the chubby side, love to sleep, and look spectacular in black! But I digress. Yes, in the first paragraph. Ha!

The Shadow is not a new topic for me. If you’d like to read about a couple of good books I’ve written about on this site, follow this link.

However, this will not be your typical post about The Shadow. That’s because I discovered something that seems to dance around the edges of the shadow but in fact, is smack dab in the middle.

Let me explain!

I’m sure many of you have heard the Native American story of The Tale of Two Wolves.  It is paraphrased here:


I stumbled across the story in a training module today. As I listened, I felt warmth radiate throughout my body… like a flame, growing and glowing into a fire.

I thought of how lately, I’ve been feeding the vicious, evil wolf. I will call her Shadow. My shadow. This is the part of me that wants to jump on the insult-train in conversations and online posts, lash out at people (if only in my head), ignore others, and even in conversations with myself. <<< You’re such an idiot. You’re a fat cow. You’ll never get what you want. You’re selfish. You’re ugly. You’ve got what you deserve. 

I noticed that politics had become a big problem when I used a word I would normally never, ever use to describe a certain politician. And baby, it felt good! (And bad. You know what I mean.)

As an empath and Self-Help Whisperer, I’d like to think I’m compassionate, kind, and thoughtful… and of course, I am!… but I am also a person who has biases, shame, and ugliness that shows itself from time-to-time. Like the other day, mentioned above.

We ALL have a shadow and this post is not about denying it. That would be folly or worse, emotionally dangerous.

It lurks below the surface of our carefully-crafted public-self.

“The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real. This act is the essential condition for any kind of self-knowledge.” — Carl Jung, Aion (1951)

So, first, we acknowledge… it’s there.

Next, do we feed it? Especially when sometimes, it feels so good to do so!

This is my struggle.

I have tried to rise above – which I’ve said about a dozen vomitous times in the last year – so, sorry about that! But I have tried. Really hard! I have not ignored my depressive, anxious side, or other little icky things I dislike about myself. It’s all here on this blog space in living color. I’m nothing, if not a blabber-mouth.

But the really ugly underbelly? Yeah, I like to keep her under wraps. I know she’s there, sure, but…


Look, here’s a kitteh doing yoga! 169939286490974

(It’s actually Tess, our first girl who crossed the Rainbow Bridge five years ago!

ADHD rocks! It comes in so handy at times like these.


Actually, The Shadow is a loathsome POS that I’d prefer not to know.

But still, hating her does nothing to get rid of her. In fact, I suspect it feeds her. All ugliness thrives in secret.

And you know what really confuses me? Some people EMBRACE their shadow and run with it! They’re feeding the bugger and proud of it. Good people who have had enough of the politicians, the pandemic, family, work, strangers… anything and everything.

Understand, I don’t mean the natural, healthy expression of anger here. That’s my public service announcement that I bet you already knew.

No, this is something else altogether.

If this post has made you think… please share your thoughts. Do you acknowledge your Shadow…

Which do you feed?


  1. Although I never formally named my darker side, I do admit to having one. I guess under ideal conditions, each feeds off the other in a constant battle for my mind, my psyche, my very being. Ultimately though, I have a decision to make and that decision, at that moment will determine who and what I am.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well, i think it feels bad because of the sense of authority. Sometimes, we are already going through a lot of pressure or suffocation from the outer world that we turn to ourselves to get those words of calmness, those words which we think should soothe our tired psyche. But then ,if our own subconscious turns out to be someone more practical than us, someone more understanding and with better endurance , that makes us feel irritated by that thing. But unlike the outer world, we can’t escape our own subconscious at times. So it feels bad. And yes. That’s my first name. And you’re welcome. Likewise!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well, finding the good in what talkermuch says is certainly one way of looking at it! I read what you wrote and thought, oh my gosh, she’s right, I’ve done that, too! I’ve used the sometimes-nasty things my shadow has said to change something for the good. Then, why does it feel so bad? Very interesting observation, Muskan (is that your first name?). Thank you so much for sharing!


  4. Oh yes. Exactly two years back. I acknowledged the presence of my darker side. I named her ( talkermuch) because she just doesn’t leave me alone, perhaps because i was too much of an introvert back then. So she was the only one who knew my thoughts, but rather than supporting me for good, she puts me down, like she used wit, sarcasm and comments to make me take it as some challenge. She did helped me. Especially when i was being full of self doubts, she kept me up by using her harsh words, but it helped!! And so good to know someone else also feels the same. Although I don’t know which type of wolf she is. And if i am feeding her or not. But she’s there!! Happy to read this. 🙂


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