The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her. – Bob Marley
It dawned on me that had I not learned how to tame my inner Anger Dragon and gone through my past healing work I would not have been ready to have Michelle in my life. – Tom Ziemann (pg. 256)
You are the only constant in all your relationships. The more you get to know yourself, the healthier your relationships become. – Christian Conte, Ph.D. (quoted from the Foreward)
If you’ve been reading my blog from the beginning, you know Tom. You know his wife, Michelle. I’ve written about both of them!!
Creating the Relationship of Your Dreams is Tom Ziemann’s third book. While he did ask me to read an early copy (and if I felt led, to lend my comments to his “Loving Endorsements” section – see below!) he did not ask me to buy my own copy – BUT I DID.
He has not asked me to write a post on his book – BUT I AM. 🙂
Tom and I met on Facebook a few years ago through a high school friend. Sharon was a sweetheart – and a writer, along with her cat, Neptune. (In a incredibly sad turn of events, both Neptune and Sharon passed away. RIP, you two!)
Tom said he had anger issues and I didn’t believe him until I read his second book, Taming the Anger Dragon (linked above). He was a man I could relate to… especially when it comes to anger!
Social media being what it is, we all watched and waited as Michelle, an etherial beauty who loves cats, came into his life.
She seemed like a keeper…
Would Tom, the original Anger Dragon, push her away?
Turns out… NO.
And I DON’T digress because this is… as it turns out… the crux of his life and his work.
In Creating the Relationship of Your Dreams, Ziemann starts at the beginning and takes us on a journey of enlightenment and love. You’ll want to come along!
Tom knows a thing or two… he has BTDT through the best and worst life has to offer (especially if the worst is kinda/ sorta because you (me, us) screwed up.) <<< Yeah, I know a thing or two about that kind of stuff, too. Totally relatable! He’s 100% human and authentic, which I appreciate SO MUCH.
Read, watch, listen and TAKE NOTE as he shares his sometimes bumpy (and painful) process through the pages of this book.
Ziemann doesn’t stop there. He doesn’t have ALL the answers… so he does something else I appreciate — he surrounds himself with experts. A few of them graced the pages. Dr. Christian Conte, Ph.D. (quoted above) and Relationship Coach Jennifer Blankl offer their insights, support and in the case of Blankl, an entire chapter, including free online gifts!
Some of the final sections of the book touch on self-care and being smart before jumping from one relationship into another. <<< As you know, I have … uh … experience <<< Everywhere I discuss my rebound relationship and marriage that turned into a long-term marriage, by luck, stubbornness and maybe a lightening bolt from God labelled, “Just because you screwed up at the beginning doesn’t mean to can just quit when things get difficult.”
At the end of the book, we are asked…
Is love worth the pain and risk?
The answer – a resounding YES.
You know, I don’t have a lot of (romantic) relationship books in my permanent collection because I am more concerned with getting the relationship right with yourself – I mean, I am The Self-Help Whisperer, after all.
However, I’ve been thinking about it…
My husband and I have been married going-on 20 years. I was married 20 years the first time. Forty years of my life have been spent in these two marriages which couldn’t be more different from each other – both the men and marriages.
There’s a reason for that.
Many couples in second (and later) successful marriages say the same: I learned some things.
My (late) first husband and my second husband share something in common – they have both loved (and were/are loved by) me. Nothing will ever change that. Love is love is love. Remember that and you’re on the road to creating the relationship of your dreams. <<< I might also add, from a self-help perspective, that love, love, loving yourself is equally as important.
In the end, love is all that matters.
“The tragedy of life is not death, it’s what we let die inside ourselves when we are alive.” – Norman Cousins (as quoted on pg. 297)