Over the last several weeks, I’ve been thinking about trees and forests, as those of you who read me know. I thought they were the links that held a group of my books together. I wrote about it HERE, if you’d like to stop and take a look before going on. It’s okay… I’ll wait.
Did you like the “Forest Interlude Arrangement”? I’m nothing, if not thoughtful.
I thought the forest was the thing.
I was wrong.
Oh yes, the trees and forests were integral to each story (and also to *my story* within each story) but I’ve come to realize there was something even deeper…
… and it required my attention.
As it turns out, the word I needed to focus on was included in a few of the titles:
Specifically, A Walk in the Woods and The Walk.
The word, as you can see, is W A L K.
Also, it’s not about merrily skipping to the sunny clearings. Nope! It’s about the darkness around that next corner, like our featured photo today. It’s about the undergrowth that trips you up. It’s about the unknown.
Is this about depression & anxiety? I don’t think so… but I may be wrong… especially since I went off the meds about a month ago.
I think *anyone* would be nervous when they’re laid off and have no idea when (or even if) they’re going back to work.
I think anyone in pain would struggle – and my shoulder and arm are constantly aching and most especially when I try to sleep. I’ve had the necessary medical tests: Arthritis, tendonitis and inflammation. <<< What’s new? Life story! *sigh*
I think a healing, restorative sleep would be super-helpful but instead, I’m over-tired because (ugh!) sleeping in pain is difficult, if not impossible.
I think that everyone watching the fires on the west coast of the United States is concerned. My entire family lives there – literally, California, Oregon and Washington – and some of them are in small cities and towns with limited resources to use in an emergency. Concern, for me, has turned into horror and panic. Their bags are packed, ready to evacuate at a moment’s notice. Breathing becomes a problem because the smoke can be as dangerous as the flames, especially for asthmatics (which includes all of my adult children).
And, don’t even get me started on the fate of my country as a whole!
Is it wrong that I have (a kind of) survivors guilt while I watch and live safely up here in Canadaland?
Yeah, more than enough around that dark corner to keep me busy. Way more than enough.
So, yes, the forest matters… but it’s what lingers in those dark corners that I must see. It’s not enough to sit here at the outskirts peering in. I need to go in.
Autumn begins officially on September 22 and then we’ll have three months until Winter Solstice. Leaves fall, soup’s on the stove, and the work of the dark months begins. And make no mistake… there are things happening in the dark. Necessary things.
It’s my favorite season, too! I love the turning trees, crisp temps and crisper apples and ciders. The snow will fly… it always does… long before winter comes. It won’t always be easy or comfortable to get outside.
But this walk of mine may be more emotional than literal. I don’t know, yet.
One thought that comes to mind is “Letting go” or “Surrender”… “Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop” – Rumi <<< Ah, we’re back to trees!
So much to think about!
Let me tell you a little more about my featured photo, which I adore!
We were out for a long drive yesterday and stopped so my husband could have a break. Neither of us had seen this trail before… it forked off the main trail and was hidden.
I wasn’t in the right shoes for a long walk or hike. Bummer.
Note to self: Pack a little bag for the car with socks and shoes, just in case.
It seems that I’m being led into dark places, my friends. I don’t know the reason yet. I don’t know what I’ll find.
When I figure it out, you’ll be among the first to know.