For anyone else, today would just simply be… another day. For me? Not so much.
It begins with a small gathering of medical appointments. Today, blood test. Wednesday, Covid vaccine #1 (Finally! Yay!). Next week is the dentist, not to be confused with hygienist. A dental/ mouth checkup.
It certainly helped (no, it didn’t!) that I twisted my knee this morning. In bed. *Ouch* It only hurts when I walk on it. Ha! So, I’m hobbling.
T H E N… I went to the wrong floor of the building where the blood lab is… and hobbled back-and-forth not once, but twice before I figured it out. I was five minutes late to my appointment. Ugh.
Then, I was told I’d need to give a urine sample, too, which I hadn’t noticed on the form. Had I noticed… I might have drank (drunk, drinken?) more water this morning. As it was, I suspect I’ll have to go back because yeah, that sample was literally that. A minuscule sample. Ugh2.
As the woman took my blood, she mentioned I bruise easily. Am I on blood thinners? No, I’m not, I answered, along with, “My blood is thin, I bruise very easily,” to which she responded, “Oh.” This, of course, makes me think that she’s thinking I have leukaemia, which I have always worried about for the same reason. Also, as you may remember, I have HEALTH ANXIETY, which at this point is through-the-roof. (Link goes to every time I’ve mentioned my health anxiety on this blog. Yeah, it’s a lot!)
Note: You may be smiling or laughing at me and you wouldn’t be the first. I assure you, the fear is real and I am not. Laughing, that is.
That note reminds me of a story. Her name was Mary. I remember her last name but it doesn’t matter to the story. Before I was formally diagnosed with migraines, I (of course) had them but didn’t realize what they were. I’d get so very ill. But I always tried to keep going. Mary and I worked together at a bank in town. She used to tell anyone who would listen that I had a very low pain threshold because a headache would make me so sick I’d barf. Sometimes, I had to go home. Such memories… Oh, the stories she told! So hilarious! <<< not at ALL funny. I was so embarrassed and ashamed. I MADE myself go to work and church for YEARS during the cyclic (monthly) migraines I had. When I finally realized what they were, I cut myself some slack. But dang, I still remember how it felt when Mary “teased” me.
Over the weekend, we noticed that our dear Hannah has some kind of irritation between her toes on one foot that won’t clear up and of course she’s making it worse by slurping on it non-stop. A call (and subsequent visit) to the vet this morning (and $100 later) it appears she has an allergy, probably to mold that’s accumulated around the windows. She likes to sit on the sill and look out the window. Her foot probably rubbed some into the warm, soft part between her pads, which is a perfect breeding ground.
Note: Every spring, we must spray fancy stuff along the window frames that have turned black over the winter. Cold outside + heat inside = condensation. <<< Also a great breeding ground. Ugh3.
Anyhow, I couldn’t have my coffee this morning (because of the blood test) so I headed straight to Starbucks afterward. That helped.
I took it to a favorite area that’s closed over the winter but is now open for spring, which is where I got the featured photo. I love the reflection! So beautiful.
And now I’m home. Obviously.
As I sat down to write, I wondered what it would be about because I’m smack in the middle of a book I’m reading about trauma. I’ll be ready to write about it soon, I know. But funny enough, I haven’t even gotten to the healing trauma section yet! I certainly resonate with what I’ve read so far, though.
The next book I’m reading is about trauma’s affect on the body. I’ve been thinking a LOT about this as I continue to wonder why I hold onto fat. I am *certain* it all ties together.
It’s a bit of a theme these days, as you may have noticed. I do that… whether purposely or not. Right now = trauma.
Note: Not just childhood trauma, in case you’re wondering.
One thing is obvious: I am not alone. Not by a long shot.
So, these are the things that I’m reflecting upon today.
How about you?