“The journey of the hero is about the courage to seek the depths; the image of creative rebirth; the eternal cycle of change within us; the uncanny discovery that the seeker is the mystery which the seeker seeks to know.” Joseph Campbell
What happened next was nothing less than a miracle!
It was 11:30 pm and as usual, I couldn’t sleep. Why? Because I’d royally messed up my sleeping schedule in the depths of depression and grief, as discussed quite a lot over the last several months, in particular. Add to that a pervasive shame and guilt for the very things I couldn’t stop doing and you can imagine the emotional stew that was brewing. In fact, you don’t even need to imagine. You can read about it!
Crawling out began last week and I even drew a picture of a pit with my hands hanging on and climbing out. Then, I shared a photo of my drawing in a post about – you guessed it – depression.
Here’s the thing…
What happened inside me over the last three months NEEDED to happen. I fully and completely believe that! Just as I believe that when I was meant to crawl out of the pit, a ladder was provided. That ladder was this movie!
I didn’t watch all of it at once, though I could have. Instead, I watched it in thirds. It’s 90 minutes long and packed full of mythology and story… and I wanted time to ponder in-between. And boy, did I!
The first morning after, I woke up at 7am and stayed awake. I felt better but didn’t realize why… not yet.
The next morning, I woke at 8:30 and felt good, so I went out and took photos at the beach and even walked a little – 800 steps to be exact, which I know because I have the steps app on my phone and counting.
The final morning, I slept a little later but felt alert and enthusiastic for the day to begin. I also did something I haven’t done for a year! I painted my toenails. So little… but such mighty feel-good vibes!
This morning, my husband and I had an appointment and we were out the door at 10:30. Then I came home and drew something to go with this post. More on that in a moment.
So…. I bet you’re wondering what the movie is about?
But make no mistake… this is NO documentary! It’s informational, sure… but mostly it’s a cinematic and beautifully filmed story… mythology… and reminds me other gorgeous movies I’ve watched, like The Secret and Earthing.
At the same time, something else was happening behind the scenes that fits so nicely… it’s like a puzzle piece. See, I ordered several books last month and all of them came but one. The others were on trauma and recovery. I had forgotten what the last one was about as I went about the business of sitting in the well of depression trying to figure out what to do.
As I watched the movie and studied the Hero’s Journey… it SOOOO resonated… and I realized that I was in the death throes of my most recent bout of depression, intensified by grief (over the loss of my Dad in February). By night two, I looked around at the dank, damp walls of my emotional well and had my first revelation.
I WAS FINISHED with suffering.
Night three was a lovely ending to what I already knew to be true…
It was TIME to PULL MYSELF out of the pit.
That last book I mentioned? It arrived in the mail just this morning. Check this out!!! It’s called, “You Were Not Born to Suffer” and yes, I’ll be sharing as soon as I read it! But isn’t that wild? I’d totally forgotten!
This morning, I drew my own picture of The Hero’s Journey.. Then, I put it on my vision board… that’s really a wall… with lights… of course… you must have lights!
I’ve given a lot of thought to my bliss, too. In the movie, we are told it is NOT “happiness” but … well… let me quote Campbell’s Wikipedia page:
“If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Wherever you are—if you are following your bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment, that life within you, all the time.” (Link)
This is my space… my baby… my legacy. No matter what else I do… or ever do… for the rest of my life… Writing for THIS BLOG IS MY BLISS. <<< That’s the second revelation I had while watching the movie.
Nothing else – as in NOTHING – has changed around here. Except ME, of course. And it makes all the difference in the world.
So, go… watch… enjoy!!!
Please feel free to let me know your thoughts!