Friends and readers, I’ve had a bit of a bumpy ride over the last little while. It started with my new shoes. Turns out that memory foam and floofy-ness on the inside of the shoe makes for Sheryl feeling float-y when she walks, which is not a good thing considering her propensity towards vertigo. Also, she’s talking in third person, which is never a good thing.
I tried once again with the shoes, with a worse result, since at the very same time the calendar let the weather know to drop a dozen degrees and send thunderstorms. Ugh. Because, migraines. I get clusters, which didn’t disappoint (that’s a joke, guys!) and had to take 3 of my big-gun meds in a less than two weeks after not having a migraine all summer.
Then, school started and my fave forest that (in the summer) had nature classes and moms with kids and kids with kids and was always filled with people (which made me feel safe) was suddenly barren. I knew it when I parked my car and there was only one other car in the lot. It was one lone guy… and this 60+ yr old may be in better shape that she was in June but still couldn’t run anywhere, even to save her life. Also, she’s lapsed into third person again.
Finally, my husband spoke to someone for a story (he’s a reporter and the story was about the difficulty of employers finding employees – which is funny, since I’ve applied for a dozen jobs that 100% ignored me – but I (kind of) digress. To keep things short, I’ll simply say, she asked that I reach out with my resume for assistance, which I did. She responded, saying my resume sucked, basically. Well, not basically. Literally. I’d gotten help with it, too, from another employment source. All different, I tell ya. And I have a unique sitch, since some of my work experience and education is from the States and I live in Canada. Ugh. Anyway, she said she’d get back to me.
I’ve think I’ve been “stood up” as it were. Or ghosted. Or whatever.
And it was at this precise moment that I decided to try going off my nighttime medication – a very small dose of Elavil – which helps me sleep, reduces pain and helps with depression. Why? Because it KEEPS me asleep well into the morning and I need to get up and at ’em.
And then the humiliation and depression set in. With thunderstorms which were spectacular and beautiful but, uh, not motivating at all. Unless the motivation was for staying in bed, reading, or looking at my phone? If so, I was crushing it!
Way to ruin all your hard work over the summer, I told myself with more than a little snark.
Not very self-help whisper-y, is it?
Last night, I took my med and slept like a baby.
When I got up late this morning, I put on my old shoes and went to a park filled with mostly old people, you know, walking. I mean, it’s across the street from a retirement home, so …
I felt safe.
And yay! I haven’t forgotten how to walk.
My lungs and legs thanked me. So did my brain, which told me that I’m worth getting up in the morning for… and old shoes or not… getting out there is so important. Even if I keep going back to this same ol’ park every possible day until next summer. Right? Right!