Ah yes, an update to my health journey, punctuated with a muted photo of my face that I think looks quite lovely, though not that different than 39 days ago, sadly.
I say “39 ” (exactly) because I’m using an app that tells me I have been on their program for that many days.
In that time, it tells me I have lost 6.8 pounds.
Yay, me? Because I’m not feeling very celebratory!
Why? Because I’m stuck on a %$*& plateau. Again!
Folks, when people who have been dieting for most of their lives say, “I effed up my metabolism”… BELIEVE them. Believe ME!
If I didn’t have 75+ pounds still to lose, perhaps it wouldn’t upset me so much.
When I look at the entirety of my summer 2021 into fall, it just feels like I should have more to show for it. But as my husband told me this morning, I *am* different. I can walk further than I’ve been able to for months, if not years. My body is changing (albeit sloooooowly) and perhaps building some muscle. And there is – of course – all the mental and spiritual benefits.
While this never was about looks…
I want to be skinny! Now! Is that so wrong? LOL
I know the mindset isn’t healthy because it won’t stay off if I lose it too quickly. My experience tells me it never has – and let’s face it – it NEVER has – because at the start of this year, I was heavier than I’ve EVER been. I’d lost a wee bit in the spring, but…
Slow and steady wins the race, eh?
Since you may be interested in the goals the app set for me on August 7, the day I began, here goes:
It would take a year and a few months to lose 100 pounds eating 1,774 calories daily. I knew that was more than I normally ate. I’ve been on every diet known to (wo)man and could guesstimate that I normally ate around 1000 calories a day.
I’d binge. Then, it was nothing to eat an entire sleeve (heck, bag!) of cookies all by myself. Chocolate chip or peanut butter were faves. Do I miss them? A little. But I don’t miss how I felt afterwards: Burdened with guilt, shame and weight, both physical and emotional. Yeah, I could go the rest of my life not dealing with that again, thankyaverymuch.
I kept walking daily right through August.
With the combined effort, I lost a pound or two right at the beginning. No binges. It felt fabulous.
I told you about my mindset and the weather as September came knocking. Things have not changed much since I wrote the post, though I’ve continued walking outside when I could (in my old shoes) and have kept up the diet plan, with two changes: I lowered the calorie intake first to 1,500, and today, to 1,200. We’ll see if I can kick through that plateau.
So, I’m kinda torn between being proud and discouraged. <<< That’s my update.
I’m not gonna stop or give up. I’ve gone too long to blow this now. And, I don’t wanna! 🙂
To finish off today’s post, I’d like to tell you about a tree I met today.
I’d passed her going one way on the trail and on the way back, I stopped and snapped this shot.
I daydreamed a little… though it wasn’t a dream… since I really did climb trees as high as I could as a kid. We had a perfect one in our front yard.
I had no fear, which didn’t bode well with my mother. Dad, either, as I can still hear him yelling, “Get down from that tree, Sherry!”
I always loved climbing trees, and birds, and being…
I’ve always wished I could fly!
I love seeing things from above. The higher, the better!
There’s a ferris wheel in Niagara Falls that I’ve never been on because I hate going by myself – my husband hates heights. One day, I’m gonna take myself over there and get on the darned thing! <<< 2022 goal? Yes!!
Anyway, as I stood in front of this beautiful tree, I wished I could climb, though I worried I’d break her at this weight, not to mention hurting MYSELF. That’s all I’d need, to break a hip, and my walking days would be over. I’ve graduated from my fear-less days… mostly cuz I have-ta!
But a girl can dream…