Bio-Moment – Not Just Me. Right?

I’m not okay.

Are you okay?

I mean, yeah, sure, masked faces are a familiar sight, as is hand sanitizer, arrows on the floor, and statistics about how many have it, are on ventilators, and/or have died from COVID.

Where are the stats on how many crises have occurred? Suicide attempts? Murders? Abuses?

Families torn apart by arguments and belief systems for or against?

How about something as simple as…

The end of life?

My beautiful dad died last year in February.

I hadn’t seen my parents in person for two years before the pandemic began.

Because of mandates, immunizations, lockdowns and arguments over right and wrong … no middle ground anywhere …

I didn’t get to be with my family or say goodbye.

Oh, I take that back. I DID get to see Dad over FaceTime. He looked peaceful. I’m so thankful to my sister, who was able to get there, for offering me the option to at least see him one last time.

But make no mistake. He was dead and it was traumatic.

Never mind not seeing anyone in my family, including my grieving mother or my young grandson who wouldn’t recognize me without a frame around my face that looks like an iPhone.

So… trauma? Actually, yes. How about you?

All this time we’ll never get back.

It’s makes me angry. And, sad.

Where do we put this kind of pain? In a box under the bed? A safe?

Pretend it doesn’t exist at all?

This little corner of the internet is dedicated to self-help. How will we help ourselves out of this one?

One day at a time.

Baby steps.

Platitudes? Sure feels like it.

And it sucks. Hard.

Yes, I’m feeling sorry for myself. Yes, I’m sick of masks. Yes, I wish this damned thing would end.

But none of it will bring my dad back.

Or make my grandson four-years-old instead of seven.

The time we’re living in will be in the history books. There will be pictures of immunization lines, voting lines and food lines, protests and convoys, anger and violence. Sick people, long-haul and short.

People who are here one moment and *snap* gone the next.

I’m sorry to be depressing today. I don’t – actually – feel depressed.

I’m thinking we need to remember that there is birth and hope and beauty out there, even among the muck and mire.

In the meantime…

It’s all just so ……….

Much.

Isn’t it?

Or is it just me?

3 Comments

  1. No it’s not just you! It’s been such a tough time for so many. As you say it’s the stories behind the headlines that tell the true cost of the last two years. Take care and go easy on yourself x

    Liked by 1 person

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