This is, after all, a website about self-help.
I hope you will allow me a bit of arrogant bluster and fluffery to elaborate on my ideas about what I think self-help is – and isn’t.
I present it to you in no particular order, cuz that’s how I roll:
- Enjoying an adult beverage
- Setting boundaries
- Making love
- Spending time alone
- Pulling away from people who do not encourage or support you
- Binge-watching something you love
- Having pets
- Surrounding yourself with things that bring you joy
- Mindlessly scrolling for hours online
- Laughing at the misfortune of others
- Sleeping all day and night
- Eating high-fat and/or sugar foods until you feel bloated, sick and full
- Drinking until you’re drunk, especially with children around
- Setting boundaries that are not clear, move and change
- Forcing sex on ANYone to make yourself feel better
- Spending exorbitant amounts of money joining the swankiest gym or buying expensive equipment that you will use once or twice
- Shoving your belief system down someone’s throat and suggesting (or worse yet, insisting) that they will go to hell if they don’t follow your way
- Turning down invitations because of fear or anxiety – a caveat: Occasionally, this will happen and it’s perfectly alright. But when it becomes habit, pay attention!
- Staying in a relationship of any kind where you are not be edified and encouraged. I would add “love” here but we all know that people’s ideas of love vary. Someone can “love” you and abuse you at the same time. This is why I did not add “love” here.
- Sitting in front of the TV, tablet, phone or computer for hours into days
- Not taking care of your pets when they become inconvenient
- Buying things for temporary pleasure and leave you with junk and bills to pay
Of course, my lists could include so much more.
As I typed, I thought of things like listening to music and meditation. I added them to the top list and then realized I couldn’t find things about them that are not self-help-y for the other.
Okay yes, an argument could be made for the violent, misogynistic messages in some music…
… and perhaps the way some folks listen to it (I’m looking at those of you who blare your music into the spaces of anyone within a mile of you…)
And yet – it’s your business how you choose to listen! However, when it encroaches into my world, I do take issue with it. Would you want my Barry Manilow at 90 Db in your neighborhood? Didn’t think so! LOL
Point is, I removed those two things from the list.
I also touched on – and then moved away from – love, didn’t I? *sigh*
Love is so very important.
Until we get on the same page about what love actually IS, I’m not sure it *can* be put on a list like this.
Am I wrong? You’ll tell me in the comments, I’m sure.
I know there are a million-billion-and-one more things I could add to these lists. Maybe you’d like to add some of your own in the comments? That would be grand!
In the meantime, I think this is a good jumping off point. Don’t you?