I have a lot to tell you today!
First of all, I want to apologize for the vagueness of something I said in a post last week. (Link here – at the very end.)
Here’s what happened: I had a mammogram 2 1/2 weeks ago and was not surprised to get a call a week later requesting I come back in for an ultrasound. What did surprise me is what I found out earlier this week… only by accident as I called in to verify the time. Turns out, I need another mammogram, too.
I think this may have happened once before (both follow-up tests, I mean – I’ve had follow-up ultrasounds many times because of fibrocystic breast disease but not additional mammograms.)
You know me. My health anxiety shot through the roof and I’ve been a wreck all week. Don’t ask me how much Imodium I’ve taken. Oy!
My appointment is on Tuesday morning. Please say a prayer or send good juju or whatever it is that you do.
I’ve prayed, cried, and done it all, including some art therapy, with colors I chose specifically for healing… along with some power-filled lightning bolts.
I would never show a photo of my actual breasts but in the name of art (and to show you what art therapy looks like for me), I am sharing this one with you.
I have to admit that as I drew and colored, I felt the healing vibes emanating off the paper! Doing things like this certainly can’t hurt anything!
(And yet, as so often happens, I’m reminded of someone who mocked my intuitive nudges to create art therapy… when we didn’t call it that or know what it meant. I drew pictures of myself walking along the shores of Greece – I’d recently watched Shirley Valentine – loooong story. Begs the question: Why have I allowed people into my life who turn on me, hurt me, tear me down… along with mocking the things I do to make myself feel healthy, beautiful, and happy? I’m still trying to figure that one out. In the meantime, I say, “Be gone with your unkindness and cruelty!” And yes, I am digressing as I so often do.)
Now, the apology… it comes because I *was* being vague because I was attempting to be private. I struggle with secrecy vs privacy, as I’ve written about (*ahem*) quite a lot. I’m so sorry that I worried you, my friends, and readers. I actually loathe when others do it… you know… write things like… I’m so sad… or … they disappointed me again… and you’re left wondering why or who or what the heck?
Enough about that!
To keep my mind off my troubles – whether they are real or not (and that makes me maddest of all! It all *feels* so very real!) I decided to work on my surroundings. To that end, I have been clearing out and rearranging.
The featured photo is a snap of my “vision board wall” and some well-loved books. Isn’t it beautiful?
Below is a close-up of my word of the year – Mindfulness. I love how it turned out on the black paper!
I also picked up a new comforter for our bed- Hannah won’t let us take it out of the bag, though! LOL So, you know what we did? Bought the girl’s new bedding, too – that’s right, two new cat beds! I snuck the comforter upstairs when Hannah was checking out her new digs.
While future plans demand saving – er, um, retirement! – these small purchases bring little rays of sunshine into our home and bring all of us (cats included) pleasure. This is why I’m working so hard to bring money into our house – my husband can’t do it all!
One final thought: Spring is trying to make its way through but it’s still overcast and cooooold.
All we have to show for it is this small scene of teeny-tiny flowers mixed in with crabgrass… LOL. I stopped to snap a photo yesterday and today, as we passed by on our way to the car, my husband said, “Hey look, crocuses are trying to get through!” Great minds and all that!