The Job Interview & Dad

You guys…

I have been – is it boring to hear again? – sick. Yes, still. Ugh.

I’ve been to the docs a half dozen times over as many months. My husband has been the same and we keep going around and around in circles. Me sick, he sick, we sick.

Some might be allergies, they say. Some, the new place, which is not centrally heated or cooled, like the last place. Plus, it’s surrounded by (beautiful) foliage, trees, and flowers. Some may be that we’re worn down… moving in January when you’re 60+, is not the wisest choice evidently.

All that to say…

Sorry, I haven’t been around much.

Before I left for my California trip, I had my first interview for a promotion at work. I felt I’d done fairly well and was told to expect a response about the next step when I returned.

While I was in the States, my mother took the opportunity to send something she’d been holding for me. It is something **very** special and we didn’t want a chance of having Customs open it at the border.

(As a side note: Whether or not they open stuff seems to be totally random. My sweet friend Kaden once sent an embroidered panel for our anniversary though we never saw it. Her card was ripped open, the panel disappeared, and we received a plastic bag with a “Sorry about that” note and the remnants of what remained. One Christmas, I sent a box filled with gifts to my children and it wasn’t touched. Another year, the box was rifled through and half was missing when it got to them. Go figure. But I digress.)

This gift (from Mom) is not your average piece of jewelry. It is a Memorial Necklace and has a small vial with my dad’s ashes inside. It is also stunningly beautiful, as you can see in the feature photo. (Ignore my wrinkly hands. I tried to photograph the necklace in all kinds of settings and light – this one showed the color and beauty best!)

As planned, I got the necklace at my daughter’s place and immediately put it on. Almost immediately, I lost it. I was helping my daughter move some boxes and I reached up because the chain suddenly felt lighter… the chain itself was still there with a little screw… but the other side had unscrewed and was missing. A frantic search ensued – you can bet I was frantic! (I lost Dad!!!!) I was bending over looking under things when we heard a *clink*. It had fallen into my bra… and then out onto the floor. Thank God it was unbroken! My daughter said the same thing happened to her necklace (with her dad’s ashes) and she had to put a drop of super glue on the screw, which I allowed her to do with mine. Dad isn’t going anywhere!

Okay, so I got home and I had indeed done well on the interview and was scheduled for Part Deux, an online presentation. I was told I would be sent the information I needed.

This is where it gets messy.

Long story short (kinda), I misunderstood some things, I’d never used the technology before and it wasn’t working correctly (unbeknownst to everyone), and I completely reinvented the wheel. Being sick did not help the situation. Let’s just say I cried, prayed, cried some more, fretted, felt completely out of my element, and came very, very close to withdrawing my application. All of this was done in private, of course, though I did discuss it with my immediate supervisor who said to hang in there and not give up. She knew I’d be great in the role but admitted that this might not be my time… however, it would be a learning experience no matter what happened.

The presentation was yesterday. I was supposed to work from home but wouldn’t you know it? Contractors began working on the floor of an empty apartment upstairs. This is a small building and the sawing and hammering echoed throughout our place. I certainly couldn’t answer phones like that and also (and more importantly at that moment) I couldn’t interview under those circumstances.

With tears in my eyes, I stood in the living room wearing “work pajamas” and told my husband (in a shaky voice) that this was the last straw. I didn’t know what to do but *****this***** wasn’t gonna work. (You can imagine the dramatic arm spread… am I right?)

Of course, I pulled myself together, got dressed, and walked back out to the living room…

My husband said…

“Hey! Why don’t you wear your dad’s necklace today?”

I’d been kind of afraid to wear it and had placed it instead in a place of honor after that first day…

But yeah, I thought, that was a great idea!

So, I went back and changed my shirt from a muted peach to sea-treasure blue. I removed my gold earrings and chose silver instead. And yes, I put on Dad’s necklace. It felt better!

Off to work I went.

What happened after I got there was… a learning experience.

We desk-share and I wasn’t supposed to be there that day. Someone was already at my desk.

Oh God, I thought, this day is getting better and better.

And I heard Dad’s voice…

Sher, it’s gonna be okay.

I reached up and held the necklace. It was warm, just like Dad! I felt his energy. How neat was that?

The day went on… as they do.

As I got closer to the presentation time, it was determined that the program I was supposed to use for the presentation wasn’t working and we had to change to a totally new one.

OH. MY. GOD.

Sher, it’s gonna be okay.

I held the necklace again… and it was still warm. Is that my own body heat, I wondered?

After some further discussion, I finally understood the assignment and was given an hour to prepare using the new program.

I took a deep breath. I closed my eyes. I held the necklace.

Dad?

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. It will be okay.

At the presentation, I thought I did a solid 6 out of 10. Probably worse.

The panel thanked me for being adaptable, upbeat, and positive.

I couldn’t believe it. They found something positive to say!

Two hours later, I was given the final step, a written assignment that had to be completed immediately. <<< This is my forte, as you know. I felt *very* good about how I did!

Now, I wait.

As I was driving home, I thanked Dad for being with me during what had been one of the more difficult days of my life.

I reached up and held the necklace. It was cool, not warm.

And I thought…

Dad was there when I needed him and now he’s gone to visit Mom or …

I thought of my sister and her infant granddaughter, who is visiting with her parents from out of state. It would make sense that Dad would hang out there now, talking to his great-granddaughter.

When I got home, I put the necklace back in its place. I will wear it for special occasions… or on days when I need Dad’s warmth and wisdom.

I miss him.

I’ll let you know about the job. No matter what happens, I know it will be okay.