“Most wars between individuals are of the ‘cold’ rather than the ‘hot’ variety—lingering resentment, for example, grudges long held, resources clutched rather than shared, help not offered. These are the acts of war that most threaten our homes and workplaces.”
― The Arbinger Institute The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict
The Arbinger Institute’s The Anatomy of Peace is not like any other book I’ve read.
I have been sitting here thinking about what I want to say. I find myself unable to put my thoughts about this book ‘on paper’.
I keep coming back to the shoes. What shoes? I want to tell you but I can’t. I want you to read the story yourself! I got goosebumps. Seriously! No wonder it keeps coming back to mind.
The book was recommended to me by a fellow life-long student of all things self-help. She was right… I couldn’t put it down.
It was found in the “Business” section. Obviously, you assume it is about business. It is but it’s really about so much more.
What can I say about it?
A group of people attend a weekend workshop, some voluntarily, some not, one only because of his wife’s gentle coercion.
It is a story… some have called it a fable. But it also reads like non-fiction, with diagrams and questions that need answering.
Have I said anything that makes you want to read it? I hope so. Because, like I say, I feel like I’m stuttering… jumping around… beating around the bush. And I don’t know why.
Maybe because my heart is not at peace?
Yes, that feels right.
As those who have been reading me know, my father has had one hell of a week. He is in his 80’s and fell. A couple of surgeries later, he is on the mend. But not before scaring the crud outta all who love him. It’s been up and down the entire time, from talk of losing a limb to a fatigue so encompassing I could feel his voice weakening after only moments on the phone.
On the phone. Yes, dammit. On the phone. Because I couldn’t get to him. There’s a lot of “not getting to” people I love. I live about 3,500 miles from my parents, my children, my family… and many of the friends I grew up with.
I am angry. Resentful.
I have a heart of conflict.
I want a heart at peace.
The only one who can change it? Me.
And that’s what this book is about.