The featured photo was taken along the shore of Lake Ontario. I love looking out across… how it seems to go on and on…
Life is like that…
Today, we emptied, folded up, and disposed of our last moving box…
It feels amazing!
I can further illustrate how I’m feeling using this photo of my brand new VISION BOARD for 2023. I put it on the wall today, and as you can see, it is 100% blank.
Opportunities and possibilities as far as the eye can see!
(See what I did there?)
This apartment is different than the last one.. in so many ways.
Also, we feel different.
New beginnings …
… and endings, too.
Our Bette is seeing her vet once a month for pain management and a check on her weight. She is at the end of her life but hanging onto it with her toenails. When she’s ready, she’ll tell us… or the vet will. She spends most days sleeping but not hiding away, as our other cats did at the end of their lives. So, you can understand what we mean by “not ready”? She wakes me up in the morning with her cold, wet nose and purrs as I pet and kiss her head. We have deep conversations, too. She looks into my eyes, so sweetly. We are connected in a way I’ve only known a couple of times in my life.
It’s sad, of course, but also a privilege. Oh yes, I’ll be a wreck when she’s gone… but that’s how it is when you love someone.
It’s very, VERY cold and windy here today. I didn’t go out and in fact, didn’t get dressed into my nighttime jammies (not to be confused with my day jams) until about an hour ago.
I spent the day putting some finishing touches on the sacred spaces in our home. I’m especially happy with this corner of the second bedroom, which we turned into a guest room doubling as an office/artist’s hangout/escape-from-Mr.-Snore-y-pants room.
See, even though it’s all my stuff that was in the old library, it feels very different. I loved the other… and I love this, too! The light comes into the room differently. We face a totally different direction… it adds… a different kind of ambiance. Isn’t it lovely?
Anywho, I just wanted to check in to say that we’ve (you and I) gotten through the worst of “after Christmas” (i.e. January) and we’re heading into the countdown to spring.
*little jump for joy*
I am also happy to report I did not have a severe anxious or depressive episode this season in spite of some very big changes in my life. I attribute this to a few things…
- My surgery in October… if you remember, my hospital stay opened my eyes to a reality I could no longer deny, which is that I can no longer ignore my health hoping it (whatever “it” is, from the simplest to the most complex and scary diagnosis) gets better on its own. Sure, sometimes it will. But sometimes… it won’t… and that could lead to an unnecessarily early (and painful) death. So my health anxiety in particular is much better!
- Leaning into my word of the year: SURRENDER (Again, this word came up for me in the hospital, so it really comes back to that incredibly profound experience!)
- Being busier than snot – moving on January 1st will do that to ya! I still can’t believe we did it! My husband and I both found out that some of our joints and muscles are… uh… not as strong as they used to be! Oy! If we ever move again, we’ll hire people to pack our stuff as well as move it! LOL, except I’m not joking.
- Finally, a realization: I may not control everything… and I certainly never controlled others (much as I tried)… but I do believe what my affirmation card said today:
I hope you’re learning new things about yourself as we head forward into deeper waters, too! Please tell me you are!!
I look forward to filling my vision board soon… and of course, you’ll be among the first to see it!