Enough Already – Food For Thought – The Self-Help Whisperer®

I knew I would love Enough Already by Valerie Bertinelli because …

A. I adore Bertinelli and have since her days on One Day at a Time

and

B. I admire her vulnerability

and

C. I respect her honesty

and

D. She reminds me of my sister.

Throw in that she’s a pretty-darned-good writer and you have the recipe for a wonderful book!

Speaking of recipes, Bertinelli has carved out a fab career in front of the camera on The Food Network.

Speaking of food, her health journey has taken some wide twists and turns. It began the moment she stepped in front of the camera as a teenager and continued right through to her 60th birthday… and into the premise of this book.

“Enough Already” is about many things… including her relationship with food and her body.

Oh, and then there’s the part – about 25 years worth – of marriage to a rock idol.

Put that lengthy preamble together and you have an incredibly interesting life…

Yes, it’s Bertinelli’s life…

But it just as easily could have been mine. Or yours. Except for the rock-star husband, perhaps.

And yet, I found so much to appreciate in her relationship with the late Eddie Van Halen. If there’s a bottom line – and there is! – it is that love is love is love. I have so often said the same! Some people have no understanding of that concept. Like Bertinelli, I wanted the very best for my ex-husband until the day he died. She calls that love and so do I… but the notion makes some folks uncomfortable. How can we be divorced from a person we love and married to another person we love (and are in-love with) and furthermore (and I think this actually gets to the crux of it) how can the new spouse accept it?

Bertinelli doesn’t try to explain the “how or why” of it but rather shares her experiences with (and about) Van Halen and their son as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. I understand… because it has been my experience, too.

My husband wasn’t threatened nor did he “tolerate or allow” the relationship I had with my ex… he understood it. He understands love, in all its incarnations. He is a spectacular man.

Of course, as you now realize, I digress.

With that, we have arrived at the center of the maze…

It’s all about love.

I mentioned above that Bertinelli reminds me of my sister. She did from the first moment I saw her, back on that 70s sitcom. They kind of looked alike to me… long, thick, shiny, dark hair, beautiful skin, with a sweet vulnerability and quiet disposition that was the opposite of my own.

And… this brings up the more important point…

I felt like her older sis in the show, played by Mackenzie Phillips. I wasn’t that tall and thin but we had the same fair skin, freckles, awkwardness, and propensity for getting into trouble.

My sister was like Bertinelli’s character… a beautiful little goodie-two-shoes.

What I found so interesting in this book was her description of Phillips as “Tall, thin and gorgeous.”

Seriously, it hit me in the gut.

Back in the 70s, I thought Phillips was ugly in comparison… because we had the same coloring, weird hair, and … it’s been said … attitude.

I literally sat back in my chair when I read Bertinelli’s words. Put the book down in my lap. I wanted to cry but didn’t (because I was at work on break).

I said to myself…

Maybe… Phillips *wasn’t* ugly? Maybe… I wasn’t – and am not – ugly.

Where in the world did THAT all come from?

Ah yes, a subject for another day. 🙂 Not that it hasn’t been discussed before.

Enough Already feels like a conversation between friends… truth-telling friends…

Over coffee…

Or a glass of wine…

… on the couch… legs curled… next to a roaring fire.

In the golden warmth, you learn something about them…

But about yourself, too.

In this case, the lesson is obvious… it’s in the title of the book.

We have put ourselves through ENOUGH scrutiny, pain, and suffering.